Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Crap: Brief Observances of the Giants' Face Plant

  • That was certainly worth the wait, wasn't it?
  • Pedro Feliz's every movement, breath, fart or whatever brings A-Rod an inch closer to San Francisco in 2008.
  • Zito wasn't awful, but walking Jose Cruz, Jr.!? Anyone but that guy!
  • Giants fans, stop booing when Barry Bonds gets walked. To those listeners calling KNBR and saying what a beautiful day it was regardless of the game's outcome, stifle it. You sound like the people East Coast fans say we are. Knock it off.
  • Randy Winn = Bust.
  • I am more of #5 hitter than Rich Aurilia.
  • The pregame show MC'd by a tuxedo'd Jon Miller was the best production Giants management has staged in my nearly 35 years of existence. Sadly, they know how to produce a good song-and-dance act rather than a championship team. Maybe Magowan should just run "Avenue Q" at A.T.&T. Park nightly and forget baseball.
  • Renel Brooks-Moon isn't Bob Sheppard. It's great that San Francisco is a progressive city but the voice of a baseball game shouldn't be shrill. The PA announcer experiment is over.
  • Jeffrey Leonard is the only guy who can take the field at an old timers event with his hat on backwards and pull it off.
  • I am still surprised to see Mike Cameron's head in one piece.
  • Will Clark has gotten to know Krispy Kremes very well during retirement.
  • I'm thrilled that Bonds stole a base. I'm even more thrilled to see him not attempt a slide at the plate.
  • Mayor Gavin Newsom stayed from the first pitch to the list. Chicks dig the long ball and civics.
  • Try watching Barry Zito pitch while sitting next to an A's fan. If you haven't set yourself on fire within 2/3rds of an inning, consider buying a lottery ticket. An A's fan is the dumped-girlfriend-trying-to-put-on-a-brave-face (and failing) in the Bay Area.
  • Lance Niekro is like the last season of "Family Ties" with all the retrospective episodes: He grabs a bat. He strikes out. Press repeat.
  • Armando Benitez gets to sleep tonight knowing that, for one day, the other relievers sucked more than he does.
  • From Yankee Fan Ken: "Zito relies too much on his curve. If it's not working he is average. It's not working today." Is there anything more infuriating than a Yankee fan who's right?
  • There's only 161 more to go and they'd better turn it around, like, now.

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